


the past we share

by frimaires



Category: Lost
Genre: F/M, Vignette
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-17
Updated: 2020-07-17
Packaged: 2021-03-04 23:40:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,701
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25341028
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/frimaires/pseuds/frimaires
Summary: When Juliet opened the door, she looked startled. “James?” she said, sounding genuinely surprised. “What are you doing here?”
Relationships: Juliet Burke/James "Sawyer" Ford
Comments: 2
Kudos: 9





	the past we share

It was nine o’clock on a Friday night when Sawyer found himself standing in front of Juliet’s barrack, a bottle of red wine in one hand and a bright yellow flower in the other. He had waited until everyone else on the island had disappeared inside their own wooden houses before daring to head out into the cool evening air.

Quickly and quietly, he had walked towards Juliet’s house, passing old Diana’s front garden and plucking one of her sunflowers. He had twirled the stem round and round nervously in his fingers, wondering when exactly he had allowed himself to return to the mental state of a teenage boy.

For weeks Sawyer’s mind had been occupied with one thing and one thing only.

See, it had been half a year since he and the others had travelled back in time to this strangely peaceful time on the island and it had taken them a surprisingly short amount of time to accept the fact that they were very likely never going to find a way back to the time and the people they had left behind. So, together they had decided to try and build a new life for themselves.

Once their initial apprehension had dissipated, the Others had given Sawyer and Jin and Miles and Juliet the opportunity to prove themselves worthy of their trust and respect. The four of them had done so easily by working hard, following the rules, and keeping quiet. Soon, they were living in barracks of their own. They were offered important jobs, got invited to parties, and became well-loved members of the community. Everything had fallen into place surprisingly quickly.

One thing, however, remained difficult. Over the past few weeks, Sawyer had been going on dates with various women on the island, but by the end of each boring dinner, Sawyer had felt no desire to take any of these girls home. He thought them too cheerful and grew irritated by their childlike optimism. All of them still believed in the inherent goodness of humankind, none of them had ever experienced real heartbreak or sorrow. No matter how hard he willed it, Sawyer felt no connection with any of them. Instead, he went home alone each night, marveling at his own restraint and newfound desire for mature conversation.

It was Miles who had planted the seed in his mind. He had cornered Sawyer at work, first complaining about his own miserable date the night before and then seamlessly bringing up Juliet and her lack of romantic conquests. “You know there’s only one solution to this problem, right?” Miles had said. When Sawyer had looked at him quizzically, Miles had sighed. “We’ll have to start dating each other. I’ll ask Jin, you ask Juliet.” Before Sawyer could ask whether he was being serious, he had run out the door.

Miles hadn’t brought up the subject since, but he didn’t have to. As soon as he had uttered the sentence, Sawyer had been unable to think about anything else. Why had he never thought of Juliet himself? Why had he been frantically looking for someone he could trust and be himself with when the one woman who understood what he’d been through had been right there all along. It made perfect sense, yet Miles had to be the one to make him realize it.

For the first time in years, Sawyer had felt nervous about asking someone out. Before the island, he would have known exactly what to do, he would have known exactly which clothes to wear, which gifts to bring, which words to use to convince someone to sleep with him. Now, he felt lost. A scared teenager asking someone to prom for the very first time.

Standing outside of Juliet’s front door, he could feel his heart thumping in his throat. Suddenly, his well-considered plan seemed foolish to him. The bottle of wine in his hand felt like the worst of cliches, the flower too forward and domestic; something a husband would give his wife. He threw the flower in a bush.

As if on queue, Sawyer saw old Diana pull back her curtain, eyeing him suspiciously. There was no time left to hesitate on Juliet’s doorstep; Diana would know something was up and come morning everyone else would know something was up, too.

Sawyer took a deep breath and knocked.

When Juliet opened the door, she looked startled. “James?” she said, sounding genuinely surprised. “What are you doing here?”

Sawyer held out the bottle of wine for her to see. “Walter gave this to me because I helped him repaint his living room,” he said. “Don’t like wine. Thought you’d enjoy it more.”

Juliet looked confused. “Right,” she said and reached for the bottle. “Thank you, James.” For a second, it seemed as if she wasn’t going to say anything else and Sawyer felt his hands starting to sweat.

“Sorry,” Juliet said suddenly. “Do you want to come inside?”

Sawyer nodded and as he followed her, he noticed how strongly Juliet’s hair smelled of apples. He inhaled deeply.

Juliet’s kitchen was a mess. The counter was covered in flour, small packets of baking powder and vanilla sugar lay scattered on the kitchen table, a cookbook was propped up against her toaster. A baking tray full of unbaked muffins was waiting to be put in the oven.

“Some late-evening baking, huh?” Sawyer asked.

Juliet sighed and Sawyer noticed a faint blush spreading across her cheeks. “Needed to take my mind off things.”

Sawyer nodded. “Yeah,” he said, “Miles told me you went on a date today.”

“Did he now?” Juliet replied, closing her cookbook and returning it to its usual spot on top of the fridge. “Seems like it’s impossible to keep secrets on this island whichever year you’re in.”

“How’d it go?” Sawyer asked, though he already knew the answer.

Juliet looked at him suspiciously. “Terrible,” she said and opened the fridge to take out a beer. She handed it to Sawyer.

“Hence the muffins?”

“Hence the muffins,” Juliet replied and smiled.

“Haven’t had much luck either,” Sawyer said and took a swig from his beer. “Went on a date with Martha.”

Juliet’s smile grew bigger. “Must’ve been lovely,” she said, leaning against the counter and folding her arms.

Sawyer scoffed. “Two hours of I’m so nervous for the party next week and I won’t know what to wear and It’ll be so tense now that everybody knows Wendy is sleeping with David.”

Juliet gasped. “Wendy is sleeping with David?” she asked, unable to hide the laughter in her voice.

“Please,” Sawyer said.

“Speaking of David,” Juliet said, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. “He was the one who told me to go on a date with Jeff. Sweet Jeff who wouldn’t stop reminding me how lucky I am that he said yes to me at all. Apparently the whole island’s been asking him out. But he’s got standards, you know, standards which he talked about in great detail. Not that he doesn’t regret having to turn down these poor, poor girls, of course,” she said and rolled her eyes. “Think I would’ve preferred Martha.”

Sawyer shook his head in disbelief. “That son of a bitch.”

“Oh, well,” Juliet said. “Another crappy date. Nothing we’re not used to, right?”

Sawyer nodded. “Tell me about it.”

They stood together in silence for a while, Juliet staring down at her hands, deep in thought, and Sawyer gathering up his courage. He swallowed thickly.

“Juliet,” he said quietly and Juliet looked up. “I’ve been thinking—“

“Did it hurt?” she asked.

Sawyer rolled his eyes, but smiled. “Oh, shut up,” he said. “I’ve been thinking,” he repeated, eyeing Juliet suspiciously, ”that since we both seem to be unhappy with the dating scene on this island, you and I could, you know, maybe hang out together—“

Without warning, Juliet burst into giggles. Sawyer cocked an eyebrow. He hadn’t expected Juliet to say yes right away, of course. He had realised that he was going to have to do some convincing, maybe ease her into it by not calling it a date and inviting Miles or Jin along, but he hadn’t prepared for laughter.

“Hell, Blondie,” Sawyer said, “Didn’t think you’d find the idea so funny.”

Juliet stopped laughing. “Oh God,” she said, reaching for a kitchen towel to pat away the tears rolling down her cheeks. “You’re serious?”

Sawyer leant back against the wall and folded his arms. “Why shouldn’t I be?”

“I don’t know, James, I just thought that after everything that’s happened, after everything I’ve put you through, I’d definitely be at the bottom of your list.”

“What the hell are you talking about?”

Juliet raised her eyebrows in disbelief. “Oh, I don’t know,” she said, “I locked you up in a cage, maybe?”

Sawyer shrugged. “I like it kinky.”

“I know everything you ever did, everything that’s ever happened to you—“

“Saves us some awkward conversations,” Sawyer said and smirked.

Julet inhaled sharply. “I’m serious, James.”

“So am I, okay?” Sawyer replied. “I’ve seen too much to be able to date women who only care about what to wear to parties and the way their lawn looks, do you understand?” he said and saw that Juliet was nodding. “There’s only a handful of people on this island who know what this place is really like and what it has done to us and I ain’t interested in taking my relationship with Miles to the next level.”

Again, Juliet laughed, except this time it’s what Sawyer intended. He smiled proudly.

“I ain’t looking for something serious, Blondie,” he said and to his own surprise, he wasn’t sure if he meant it. “Just want to hang out with someone I don’t have to hide from.”

“That seems fair,” Juliet said. She looked down at her hands and rubbed away a bit of batter stuck to her thumb.

“So,” Sawyer said. “What do you think?”

Juliet smiled softly. “I don’t know, James. I need some time to think it through.”

Sawyer downed the last bit of his beer and placed the empty bottle on the table with a gentle thud. He grinned. “Seems fair,” he said.


End file.
